Why does everyone else have to be crazy in this federation? They're ruining my gimmick...wah, wah, wah! Wait, damn it...
*Redemption takes his mask off to reveal someone who looks pretty much like this...*
Now, there's no camera's around, except for this homemade lil' piece of shit, that's too shitty to ever find its way on to the internet. Which means...I don't have to be crazy anymore,
I'm filming this as a documentary, A day in the life of an Average Joe. Dammit...I'm no average joe, with my co-host Jonathan Blake, some porn-star or something along the lines of it.
CameraDude No.1:We're live in 3..2..1, and action!!!
Jonathan Blake:Good Evening, I'm Jonathan Blake, with my co-host Shane Perry.
Wait a minute, I thought he was
my co-host. So I'm not hosting this show, wondered why he was earning $1 Million for this and I a measly $500, and why I've only got six lines in the whole series.
Shane Perry:Hi!
Damn it, say it better!
Director/Bitch:That Hi, lacked emphasis, run through it again.
Told you...
Shane Perry:Hi!
DB:No, more like 'Hi!'
Shane Perry:That's what I said.
DB:No you didn't.
Shane Perry:Yes I did.
DB:*muttered* Ugh...I told them we should have hired that wrestler Redemption guy for this...
Shane Perry:Bitch...
DB:Excuse me?
Damn it, why the hell did I say that, well...I think I've got a pistol in my back pocket..goodbye cruel world.
*Shane reaches into his back pocket and sighs*
Why'd I have to forget it today?
Stop looking at me, Bitchy thing! Stop it...
DB:Well?
GAH!!! FUCK YOU!
*Shane suddenly storms out of the room, the homemade camera thingy follows him...*
Shane:Mack, stop following me!
Mack Perry/Camera Dude:Why? Where you going!?
Shane:Coffee Machine
Mack:NO! Remember last time you drank coffee!!! DON'T PUT ME THROUGH THAT AGAIN!!!
Need..Coffee...
Shane:You're so Immature.
Must..have..coffee...
*Shane is about to get a coffee, when a hand appears on screen and pushes Shane away.*
Fuck, so close...
*Security-Meathead and Director-Bitch suddenly enter the room*
SM:This the guy?
DB:Yes
Shane:Oh crap, I'm a nice guy when you get to know me, honest.
DB:I do want to get to know you.
Shane:You do?
DB:Yeah, let's go rent a room...
Shane:Sure thing.
Okay, Okay, that never happened, or at least it did up until the "I do want to get to know you" part. Okay, I don't want to get into the details, but I got thrown into a dumpster, fell asleep, and some hobos nicked my clothes. Where was Mack you may ask? Only in bed with Director-Bitch. I hate him so much...
