November 5, 2008: Warzone IX

[The Council]

>>>>>> PARENTAL ADVISORY <<<<<<
This program contains adult language and mild nudity. Parental guidance is suggested.

* Warzone IX is live from the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio where some of the local celebrities have come out to see Ultimate Wrestling Association Warzone action. *

Kellen Winslow, Jr. Tight End for the Cleveland Browns…………. LeBron James, Forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers……….. Cleveland’s very own, Halle Berry

Irvin Fury – Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of UWA Warzone, I’m your host, Irvin “Don’t worry, we don’t need a rubber, because my dick is clean motherfucker, so let me pull it out, so you can be a cum guzzler” Fury. And by my side, we have-------

Jessica Swift – Don’t introduce me with your potty mouth. Everyone knows who I am and I don’t need you to tell them that I am the voice of UWA Warzone. Hello everyone, I’m Jessica Swift. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and Fury, at times, is burning……in all sense of the word, burning.

Irvin Fury – At least I can pee standing up.

Jessica Swift – And it burns to do so, doesn’t it? Tonight we have a spectacular show lined up as two new signees to the UWA roster will be action, as well as an unprecedented 2 on 1 Leather Strap match between Jason Verve with Sherry Martinez taking on the old timer, Daniel McCloud.

Irvin Fury – And on top of that, Alexia Valentine has forced UWA Heavyweight Champion, Red Solomon to defend the title against the ex-Army Ranger and Major Management member, Derek Wellings.

Jessica Swift – I’m pretty sure after how she tried to take the title off him at the last show, that she’ll have more tricks up her sleeve----

Irvin Fury – Or skirt…….

Jessica Swift – Thank you……she’ll have more tricks up her sleeve to get the title off of Red Solomon until it is around the waist of a man she deems suitable to hold the title.

Irvin Fury – The only thing I don’t agree with is that The Grand Mystique didn’t get a rematch. If Derek Wellings wins the title, Mystique’s rematch is revoked by default.

Jessica Swift – Shame, isn’t it? *giggles*

Irvin Fury – It’s not funny.

Jessica Swift – All this and much more, tonight, at UWA Warzone IX.

* The scene now shifts to the back loading dock area for the Quicken Loans Arena. Tommy Polo is waiting by the main door into the arena, when a black Hummer H³ pulls up and stops in front of Polo, revs it’s engine very loudly, then peels out in reverse, smashing into several parked cars, causing smoke and debris to take to the air. Polo doesn’t look amused as the Hummer makes its own parking spot and lets the engine run for a few more seconds before shutting down.

Polo crosses his arms, taps his foot and then looks at his watch. The door to the Hummer opens up and a black gym bag drops out of the vehicle followed by a pair of boot and then everyone stops to see who it is. The mumbling can be heard as it who it may be. *

Voice – Is it Clint Eastwood?

Voice – …..Chuck Norris….

Voice – …s Powell of the former liquid federation?

Voice – I heard Alexia Valentine signed Dr. Phil.

Voice – No way.

Voice – Serious as a heart attack.

* The person drops out of the Hummer and picks up his bag. He looks up and Polo walks over to him. *

Voice – It can’t be him. Why would they sign him?

Tommy Polo – It’s about time you got here you rat face fucker.

Person – Hey, hey. Calm down steroids, I got caught in traffic. Give a guy some leeway.

Tommy Polo – Bullshit. You’re not going to have it your way around here ass fucker. I’ve seen you knock out two federations and screw over tons of guys for your own self satisfaction. It’s not going to happen here.

Person – You don’t have to worry about that. It’s not up to you to stop me from doing what I do best……..it’ll be up to this woman…….

* In walks Alexia Valentine. *

Alexia Valentine – Hello, Leon Roberts. Or as many know you as………..The Virus. Welcome to your new home, Pro Wrestling Council: Ultimate Wrestling Association. I need a guy such as yourself to shake up the roster, you know, cause a stir.

Virus – You know I’m down to cause a stir, Ms. Valentine. By the way, nice dress there, the color fits you so well.

* Alexia Valentine blushes. *

Alexia Valentine – Oh, Leon, call me Alexia.

Tommy Polo – Alexia, you can’t be serious about hiring this anal raper. Do you know his history, or are you that desperate to sign talent, that you’re willing to risk having him shut the place down?

Alexia Valentine – I hired you, didn’t I?

Tommy Polo – But-----

Alexia Valentine – But nothing, Thomas. Do your job and that’s to watch this entrance so no riff raff can get in. Stop harassing the talent.

* Virus has a grin on his face. Polo walks over to him and starts poking at his shoulder. *

Tommy Polo – Listen here punk. I know you’re up to something and if you get out of line just one motherfuckin’ time, you won’t have to worry about getting suspended or dealing with Alexia; I’ll make sure your ass sees the door with force. You understand me?

* Virus grabs Polo’s hand and guides it away from poking at him. Virus looks at Polo and says……… *

Virus – I hear your argument.

Alexia Valentine – Oh boys, stop. Come on Virus, it’s time for you to make history.

Virus – Polo, before I go, how was your stay in AEW? You know I was watching out for you, right? As a matter of fact, I hope Derek Wellings does win the title tonight, because I was instrumental in what he accomplished in AEW…….oops, my bad, he didn’t accomplish anything in AEW. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

* Polo tries to charge Virus, but the PSA holds him back. *

Tommy Polo – YOU MANIPULATIVE CUNT!!!! I’LL MAKE SURE YOU DON’T ACCOMPLISH SHIT IN UWA!!!! I’LL MAKE A PERSONAL VOW TO SEE YOU OUT THE FUCKIN’ DOOR, YOU ASS RAPER!!!!!

* Virus and Alexia walk away from a rabid Tommy Polo, then as they walk through the halls of the arena, the announcement can be heard to start the first match of the evening. *

Virus – Show starting already?

Alexia Valentine – We tend to do things in a 2-minute warning around here.

Virus – Interesting…….

[The Council]

* Down to the ring, Alice Winters has entered the ring and acknowledges the crowd. *

Ally Winters – Hello everyone and WELCOME TO ULTIMATE WRESTLING ASSOCIATION WARZONE IX!!!!! The opening match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, hailing from the deepest, darkest side of the cosmos, and weighing in at 277 pounds, he is…………….THE GRAND MYSTIQUE!!!!

* “Headstrong” by Trapt plays to the arena. After a few seconds the bright house lights go off but the music continues to the arena. The house spotlights come up and are focused on all four corners of the ring. They change colors rapidly. Then the music stops. Then both sides of the entrance ramp, there are five or six short bursts of steam, followed by small firework going off by the Ultima-Tron 9000 screen. The house lights returns and the music starts back up again. GM is in ring, sitting on a turnbuckle. He is facing in the ring with his arms outstretched and back towards the crowd. He hops down and starts pacing around the ring, anticipating his opponent’s entry into the ring. *

Jessica Swift – Wow fans. I didn’t think this match would start the show off.

Irvin Fury – That’s what UWA is all about, surprises and more surprises. Alexia is really outdoing herself this time around.

Jessica Swift – We last saw her and Virus walking around back, is she stirring him away from the match to screw over The Grand Mystique after he denounced her involvement in his title match at Warzone VIII?

Irvin Fury – Making negative comments about Alexia is the wrong way to go. But I don’t think she’s guiding Virus away from the match, she may be placing him in a spot where he can blindside The Grand Mystique and get he upper hand.

Jessica Swift – As many of you may not know, The Grand Mystique and Virus have a long, storied history that has spread out amongst many federations. And Alexia Valentine is going to cash in on their feuding.

Irvin Fury – This is a business, and Ms. Valentine is all about business.

Ally Winters – And his opponent……..

* In the back, Alexia stops at the gorilla position with Virus and instructs him of his next move. *

Alexia Valentine – Listen, Virus. I know you didn’t care for me when I was in AEW playing role of intern general manager and you basically got me taken off the air because you wanted the air time for yourself and for what you deemed as AEW business. Well, you are now MY property, and you will go out there and perform for MY fans. The Grand Mystique didn’t have anything good to say about me after I gave him a title shot and he fell on his face, so the only person screwing him is himself. So I want you to bleed that masked bastard dry. It’s not all about him, it’s about Major Management, and me, of course.

* Virus raises an eyebrow to Alexia. *

Virus – You don’t have to worry about me taking care of Mystique, he’s light work. And me doing this for Major Management and you, if you didn’t know, it’s all about me.

* Virus leaves Alexia in her place and heads out through the curtain as Alice Winters announces him to the crowd. *

Alice Winters - …….making his Ultimate Wrestling Association debut. Hailing from Toronto Ontario Canada, and weighing in at 275 pounds……………….LEON “THE VIRUS” ROBERTS!!!!! The referee will be Maverick Michaels.

* The Lights dim just before the music starts. “Through The fire And The Flames” by Dragonforce begins to play. Once the initial guitar solo ends and the second one begins, Leon Roberts is seen rising up from the stage by platform, as red fog fills the stage. *

On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign we ride towards the fight
When the darkness has fallen down,
and the times are tough all right
The sound of evil laughter falls
around the world tonight

* Leon Roberts is now walking to the ring, focused on his opponent. *

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell bodies
wasted on the shores
On the blackest plains in hell's domain,
we watch them as we go
In fire and pain, and once again we know

So now we fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness our quest carries on
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls

* Leon is now at the ring. He climbs up, and over the top rope. He then goes to the center of the ring, raises both arms up in an X formation, as lighting strikes the posts, before they burst pillars of flames. *

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on

Jessica Swift – These two have matched up over the past year or so in various federations. Now, they are in Ultimate Wrestling Association and they look to continue their war between each other in this very ring on Warzone.

Irvin Fury – That’s right. There is no love loss between these two. We are about to be treated to a classic in the making because these two know each other very well, except Virus mostly comes out on top.

Jessica Swift – And with the looks of things, Alexia Valentine has taken to Virus and with some of the comments made by The Grand Mystique earlier this week, it doesn’t look too good for The Grand Mystique.

Irvin Fury – Sometimes you have to watch who you’re talking about because it could come back to haunt cha.

Jessica Swift – You should be the one talking……..

Irvin Fury – I’m an intelligent man, I know who and who not to pick on.

Jessica Swift – OK, so does Jake Titan.

Irvin Fury – Fuck him.

* The bell rings and the two meet up in the center of the ring, nose to nose. GM face palms Virus, and Virus returns with a right hand to the head and the two begin to exchange blows. They roll around on the ropes, clawing at each other, trying to get the upper hand. The referee has to pry the two apart and Virus gets a sucker punch in that blinds GM for a second. When Virus approaches, GM counters with a standing leg lariat. GM rolls to his feet and tackles Virus into a corner. He hits several shoulder thrusts and a forearm to the face. He holds Virus’ head and hits a bulldog. He goes for the cover but Virus kicks out quickly. Virus is slow to get up as GM hits the ropes and goes for a Yakuza kick, but Virus swipes the boot away and counters with a lunging clothesline. Virus picks up GM, whips him to the ropes and hits a big boot. He pulls GM up and body slams him. He hits the ropes and hits a big leg drop. He hooks the leg for a pin: 1……….GM kicks out. Virus backs away and waits for GM to stand and when he does so, Virus grabs him by his head and slams it into the turnbuckle. He turns him around and slaps his chest. The crowd eats it up and does the Flair ‘wooohhh’. GM turns it around and does the same to Virus and the crowd repeats the Flair ‘woohhh’. *

Jessica Swift – These two know each other like the back of their own hand. They will counter and reverse each other all match until the first man opens up and the other takes advantage of the hole.

Irvin Fury – I’ll take advantage of any hole open to me……….black holes, finger holes, hairy holes, glory holes…….

Jessica Swift – Assholes…..

Irvin Fury – Those to.

* GM happens to hip toss Virus into the center of the ring and hits a front dropkick. Virus rolls out of the ring to gather himself, when he looks up, he sees GM running at him and GM rolls over the top rope and connects with a suicide corkscrew plancha. Both men crash to the ground and GM gets up first and starts playing to the crowd who are getting behind him. He pulls Virus up and launches him into the ring steps. GM goes over to Virus but Virus retaliates by grabbing his tights and pulling him into the ring post. Virus gets up and hammers GM across the back with a forearm and rolls him back into the ring.

Virus then goes to the top rope but GM hops up and shakes the ropes, causing Virus to crotch himself. Virus is in obvious pain and GM goes up with him in the corner and hits a wonderful superplex. He rolls through and makes the cover: 1……………….2………..Virus kicks out. GM goes to pull him up, but Virus once again, grabs his tights and pulls him into the corner. GM doesn’t hit the corner hard and when Virus gets up, GM connects with an enziguri followed by a swinging neckbreaker. GM picks up Virus from behind and goes for a German suplex, but Virus blocks it with elbows to the head, snapmares GM over and kicks him to the spine. GM stiffens up in pain and turns to get up but Virus headbutts him and hits a hanging vertical suplex. *

Jessica Swift – This is exciting seeing both men going back and forth. It shows that regardless if they don’t like each other, they do have chemistry in the ring.

Irvin Fury – Chemistry is a key element to any wrestling match to make it more appealing. I’d hate to see a match where two guys don’t mesh too well and it makes for a sloppy match. Something I suffered through for a couple years in the former liquid federation, sloppy and repetitive matches that didn’t help a soul except for those who pulled the strings.

Jessica Swift – I don’t see how you sat through that for so long.

Irvin Fury – I was drugged.

[The Council]

* Virus puts the boots to GM, pulls him up and body slams him again. Virus drops an elbow to the chest and digs his forearm into GM’s face as he makes a cover, but Maverick Michaels won’t count the illegal pin. Virus pulls GM to his feet and goes for another body slam, but GM rolls him up into a small package: 1…………2……..Virus escapes and when they get up, Virus clotheslines GM down. Virus walks around the ring extremely cocky and forms an “X” over his head with his arms. The crowd boos as he picks up GM, whips him to the ropes and misses with a clothesline. GM ducks under it and when Virus turns around, GM hits several punches to the jaw and connects with a good series of European uppercuts then hits a belly to belly suplex. GM is slow to get up and uses the ropes to stand. Virus rolls to all fours and GM jumps on his back and locks in the rear naked choke. Virus won’t allow GM’s arm to lock in under his chin by pulling his arm back and away. GM rolls the hold over onto Virus’ stomach and applies a modified camel clutch. Virus is wiggling free and GM grabs him by his head and chin, tries to pull back, but Virus, showing his strength, starts to push up and rise to his feet with GM still on his back. Virus stands up and stumbles backwards and smashes GM in a corner. Virus is tired and stumbles forward as GM runs and bulldogs him again. GM jumps straight up and connects with a leg drop and connects with another and another. *

Irvin Fury – The Grand Mystique is wearing down Virus. Could this be the moment of truth for him, since Virus wants to claim he owns him?

Jessica Swift – Whatever it is, The Grand Mystique is trying to break the string of bad luck against Virus and he’s treating this like a championship match.

Irvin Fury – He’s going to have to, if he wants to show up not only Virus, but Alexia Valentine. She seems to get attached to the newcomers so easily, especially if they’re heel and have potential.

Jessica Swift – Well, I guess she doesn’t see potential in The Grand Mystique any longer because she’s now latched on to Virus as if he’s going to bring home the UWA Championship belt to her.

Irvin Fury – He’s already told her, it’s about him, not her. That’ll be an interesting to see how she reacts to it.

* GM then goes to the top rope and goes for the suicide cannonball dive but Virus rolls out of the way, and GM comes crashing down on his ass. Virus rolls to his feet and slowly waits for GM to turn around and then connects with a superkick. He goes for the cover: 1……………2………….GM kicks out. Virus crawls over to GM and cradles his head and legs to pin him again but GM escapes. They roll around to make it to their feet and Virus charges to connect with a spear, but GM leap frogs him and Virus crashes into a corner, shoulder first. GM rolls him up from behind with a school boy: 1……………..2………..Virus escapes. Virus is holding his shoulder and as GM cinches in an armbar, but Virus slings GM into a corner with his power and stomps a mudhole into the body of GM. Virus picks GM up out of the corner and sends him into an opposite corner, charges again and gets caught with a kick to the shoulder. He turns around in pain and when he looks up, GM connects with a Yakuza kick to the shoulder. GM drapes Virus’ arm over the top rope and applies pressure. Virus pokes GM in the eye to escape and GM surprises him with a powerslam: 1…………………2………….Virus kicks out. *

Jessica Swift – It’s too evenly matched to say who’s going to win this. This is amazing.

Irvin Fury – I wonder what the crystal ball had to say about the outcome.

* GM pulls Virus up and bashes his shoulder and then attempts to place Virus on his own shoulders but Virus elbows his way free. He hits the ropes and GM goes low, lifts Virus off his feet and he hotshots him off the top rope, throat first. Virus rolls out of the ring and rolls around, holding his shoulder and throat. GM goes out after him and pounds on him with his fists. Maverick Michaels is counting both men out as they battle on the outside. Virus slams GM into the barricade but GM returns with a kick to the gut and a European uppercut. Virus stumbles back a few steps then out of nowhere, connects with a diving spear. Both men are down as the referee continues his count. *

…………4………………5………………6……………….7………

Jessica Swift – Both men are exhausted. This has been a true battle of wills.

Irvin Fury – The constant counters and reversals has made this one go on longer than expected. They know each other too well to have this one end they way must of us expect.

Jessica Swift – Who’s stepping out onto the stage?

Irvin Fury – That’s Demonica, the pregnant girlfriend of Virus. She’s out here to cheer on her man.

Jessica Swift – This isn’t the safest environment for a pregnant woman, I hope she knows that.

Irvin Fury – Well, where it is being safe, she sure got pregnant there.

* Virus starts to crawl towards the ring as the count gets closer to 10 and he rolls in and back out to break the count. He doesn’t notice Demonica on the stage and he drags GM back to the ring and rolls him in. He sets him up for The ShadowCross but GM hooks the ropes with his feet and Virus can not toss him. GM is released and when Virus turns around, GM kicks Virus to the gut and connects with Hand of Prophecy. The crowd is going crazy as he slowly looks up and sees Demonica making her way down the ramp. He stands up, leans over the rope and starts yelling at her in obscene language. This gives Virus the chance to recuperate and roll up GM from behind and Demonica places Virus’ feet on the ropes for leverage and he pulls the tights but the referee doesn’t see it: 1……………………..2…………………3!!!!! The bell rings and Virus rolls out of the ring immediately and runs off with Demonica, who looks back and blows a kiss to Grand Mystique, who is dejected. *

Ally Winters – THE WINNER OF THE MATCH…………………..LEON “THE VIRUS” ROBERTS!!!!!

Irvin Fury – Ah the drama. Virus and Demonica has taken this to another level. Virus has more to brag about now. What will The Grand Mystique have to say now? Who is he going to blame for this loss?

Jessica Swift – I don’t know, but pulling the tights and having your pregnant girlfriend assist isn’t going to sit well with The Grand Mystique.

Irvin Fury – Who cares. If he sided with Alexia and Major Management, he wouldn’t have been placed in this predicament.

* The crowd boos as GM is pissed in the ring. He’s telling Maverick Michaels that his tights were hooked. Michaels is telling him that he didn’t see it and GM turns to leave the ring but he suddenly turns and grabs Michaels by the collar. *

Irvin Fury – He’s going to go ape shit on him.

* GM lifts referee Maverick Michaels up onto his shoulders and crushes him with Big Bang. He gets up and looks towards Virus and Demonica who watched the ordeal from the stage. They laugh it off and then they madly kiss and look sinisterly back at The Grand Mystique. *

Jessica Swift – The Virus and Grand Mystique war has been brought to the UWA. We’ll be back fans.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

[The Council]

* When Warzone returns from commercial break, there is a slight silence in the crowd then the boos pick up when “Lady Misery” herself, Alexia Valentine makes her way out from the back and walks down the ramp. She is greeted by a mixture of boos and whistles from the crowd as the GMILF walks up the steps, showing off her toned, sleek legs and tight skirt. She enters the ring and listens as the crowd chants…………. *

Crowd – SHE’S AN OLD HOE!!!!! *clap clap clap clap clap* SHE’S AN OLD HOE!!!!! *clap clap clap clap clap* SHE’S AN OLD HOE!!!!! *clap clap clap clap clap* SHE’S AN OLD HOE!!!!! *clap clap clap clap clap* SHE’S AN OLD HOE!!!!! *clap clap clap clap clap*

Jessica Swift – Well, that’s inappropriate.

Irvin Fury – I want to find out how old that hoe really is.

* She begins to talk. *

Alexia Valentine – I may be an old hoe, but I’m a rich one and I can make all your lives miserable.

Crowd – BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Alexia Valentine – Now, as I was getting to, at Warzone VIII, we witnessed a UWA Heavyweight Championship match between The Grand Mystique taking on the current champion, Red Solomon. If you can remember, Red Solomon physically assaulted me during that match when I did nothing to him but come down to the ring and observe the match. I wanted to see, up close and personal, my champion and challenger battle for my championship belt. Unfortunately, things didn’t go according to plan and The Grand Mystique came up a loser. Now this leaves only me and the UWA Champion, Red Solomon, to settle some unfinished business.

* She pauses for a second as the crowd lets into her once again. *

Crowd – SHE WEARS GRANNY PANTIES!!!! SHE WEARS GRANNY PANTIES!!!! SHE WEARS GRANNY PANTIES!!!! SHE WEARS GRANNY PANTIES!!!! SHE WEARS GRANNY PANTIES!!!!

Irvin Fury – That’s something you know about, eh, Jessie?

Jessica Swift – Shut up, Fury.

Alexia Valentine – If I wear granny panties, then most of you want to get in them for your own pleasure. YOU ALL SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!!!!! Now, as I was saying, Red Solomon, I have vowed since you won the title from DJ Styles that I would destroy you just as I destroyed him. Not only do I feel that I’ve been slipping in that department, in making your life miserable, but I feel like I haven’t been doing my job. So that’s why tonight, you are going to defend the UWA Heavyweight Championship against a very hungry Derek Wellings. So, if you have something to say about that, come out here, with your humble self.

* There is a slight pause in the action…………

then the arena darkens, red strobe lights flash, mist rises from the ramp and ominous Gregorian chanting fills the air as Red Solomon steps out from behind the curtain with the UWA belt over his shoulder and the crowd explodes with happiness. He makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring via the steps. He stands in front of Alexia and looks her right into her eyes. She has a look of sarcasm in her face as she hands over the microphone. *

Red Solomon – You are supposed to be a leader, a woman of power and distinction. Instead, you pose a threat to the well being of everyone you employ. You’re no better than the company you keep and that’s not saying much, Ms. Valentine. You will try your best to take this belt from my being, but I will fight you and whomever you send before me and defeat you all. I will not be broken as DJ Styles was.

Alexia Valentine – I’m so happy you said that because when you step into the ring against Derek Wellings in the main event, the match will be a No Disqualification match. And you know what that means, ANYTHING GOES………..and I will see that you are broken by the end of the night. And too bad you don’t have much to say about what I have planned for you………

Red Solomon – I will speak when I feel the ne------

Jessica Swift – WATCH OUT!!!!

* Suddenly, Derek Wellings and Leon “The Virus” Roberts slide into the ring from the crowd and attack Red Solomon. Virus clips Red’s knee from behind as Wellings puts the boots to him. Wellings pulls Red to his feet as Virus holds his arms back and Wellings connects with a kick to the gut and powerbombs the champion hard to the mat. Red is holding his back in pain as the fans boo and toss trash into the ring. *

Crowd – BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Jessica Swift – This was a set up. Red Solomon was lured out to the ring so he can be assaulted.

Irvin Fury – This is payback for his assault on her at Warzone VIII. Doesn’t Red live by the saying, an eye for an eye?

Jessica Swift – I don’t know what he lives by, but this isn’t looking too good for him at all.

* Virus steps back so Derek Wellings can inflict more damage. He lifts and holds Red in the powerbomb position then completely executes Advanced Individual Training. Red is left laying in the ring as Alexia steps over him and starts slapping him across the face. *

Alexia Valentine – I told you, that I will have my way and that you won’t survive my wrath. You have much more than me to worry about……..Major Management will run UWA and the UWA Heavyweight Championship will be within the reigns of Major Management. Tonight, Red Solomon, you will fall to Lady Misery and Major Management. See ya later…….ta ta.

Jessica Swift – THIS IS A WAR!!!!

Irvin Fury – Yeah, a war Red Solomon will lose and Alexia Valentine intends on winning without a scratch or casulties.

* The crowd boos even louder as Virus and Derek Wellings leave the champion laying in the ring, holding his back in pain. They leave the ring as Warzone fades to commercial break. *


COMMERCIAL BREAK

[The Council]

* Warzone IX returns as Ally Winters is in the ring, ready to announce the next match of the evening. *

Ally Winters – The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, hailing from Leavenworth, Kansas, and weighing in at 280 pounds……………….FRED DAGGER!!!!!

Jessica Swift – The man who is about business, Fred Dagger is here tonight to possibly dispose of another opponent in quick fashion.

Irvin Fury – His matches are faster than a jack rabbit getting a nut. I mean, his matches are fast.

Jessica Swift – That’s all you had to say. But not only are his matches over very quickly, Fred Dagger is also undefeated.

Irvin Fury – An honor he shares with the UWA Heavyweight Champion, Red Solomon. Quite frankly, I think Fred Dagger can beat Red Solomon in a one-on-one match.

Jessica Swift – The way Alexia Valentine set up Red Solomon in the last segment, I’m sure he’s a lame duck right now. And just beating wanksters like Ronnie D and H³ isn’t going to put him in that league. He’s going to have to prove himself against top notch competition.

Irvin Fury – Then lets book it. Let’s see someone of prominence, survive the Darrow Spike.

Ally Winters – And his opponent…………

* “Oddities” by The Insane Clown Posse begins to play and the oddest character to appear in Ultimate Wrestling Association comes out from backstage, skipping with a huge smile on his face, and waving to the crowd. The crowd looks at him weird then start to boo him and call him all sorts of derogatory names. *

* He doesn’t pay the names any mind and he starts to hand out huge lollipops to the little kids in the crowd, which gets a small reception from the moms and dads in the crowd. He continues to prance around the ring and his opponent locks in on him like a target, ready to strike. *

Ally Winters – …hailing from The Squee Wee Playhouse, and weighing in at 135 pounds………..he’s the man who refuses to grow up……………SQUEE WEE!!!!! The referee will be Sarah O’Doyle.

* Squee Wee walks up the ring steps, turns to the crowd with his hands in his pockets then tosses streamers into the crowd. He lets out a little giggle before entering the ring. *

Irvin Fury – What is this quasi-gay imbecile doing out here? Who or what is he?

Jessica Swift – That’s Squee Wee, Fury. He’s a load of fun. You haven’t been invited to his house to have milk and cookies yet?

Irvin Fury – No, because I’m afraid if I accept, he’ll try to make me his milk and cookies.

Jessica Swift –You seem like a party pooper anyway. Squee Wee is so much fun.

Irvin Fury – Here’s what’s fun; what’s standing across the ring from him. Fred Dagger is going to rip this Wee Wee character a new one.

Jessica Swift – Squee Wee is a part of Alexia Valentine’s “superstar initiative”, so it’ll be interesting to see if he performs well enough to get a spot on the roster.

Irvin Fury – God, no. It’s bad enough we have that flaming son of a gun, Cake Boy Mary, A-Rod and Wilcox, on the roster. We don’t need another fairy dancing around here.

* The bell rings and SW is waving to the crowd, blowing kisses and giggling. When he turns around, Fred Dagger charges him and spears him right out of his loafers. For some odd reason, Squee Wee is still giggling. Dagger picks him up and military presses him, walks around the ring with him held high over head and then drops him throat first on the top rope. SW is clutching his throat, laughing it off, but with a hooping cough. Dagger picks him up again and hammers him across the back with a hard forearm shot. SW stumbles around and Dagger grabs him from behind and crushes him with a release German suplex. SW is down on his face and twitching. Dagger goes over, pulls him up by his hair and sees SW with an unusual grin on his face. Dagger slaps him across the face and SW continues to grin and then lets out a weird giggle. Dagger drops SW on his face and wonders what the hell is wrong with him. *

Jessica Swift – Squee Wee is a kooky individual. I think he’s hurting inside, but he won’t express it inside.

Irvin Fury – Fred Dagger is laying the leather to this twerp and he’s smiling? What is wrong with this guy? Is he Nemo’s classmate or something? How does he get around, on the short bus or on a rainbow?

Jessica Swift – Will you just stop it.

* Squee Wee stands up and pulls out a mini duster and starts dusting off his suit. Fred Dagger looks at the crowd as if this guy is crazy and charges him. SW pulls out a red handkerchief and acts like he’s a matador. Dagger misses SW and stops short in the corner. SW has the handkerchief up as if he’s inviting Dagger to charge him again and he does, missing him again, with SW waving the red handkerchief up and away from the raging Fred Dagger. SW then places the handkerchief in the crack of his butt and wiggles it around and Dagger kicks him square in the pants and the handkerchief somehow goes up and he coughs it out of his mouth. *

Irvin Fury – What the fuck?

[The Council]

* Fred Dagger grabs SW by the collar and headbutts him. SW’s head snaps back and returns with a huge smile on his face and he giggles. Dagger hammers him with a punch across the face that turns his head and when it returns, Squee Wee still has a silly smile on his face. Dagger hits him again and again and again, and each time, SW continues to smile. Dagger lets go of SW and backs away in shock. SW laughs a little harder, slapping his legs and bending over with laughter. *

Irvin Fury – What is it going to take to stop this crackhead? The National Guard, a nuke, an act of God Himself?

Jessica Swift – Squee Wee is just having fun in there. Fred Dagger is the one being the meanie.

Irvin Fury – Screw that, shoot that guy.

* Squee Wee leaves the ring, goes under it and pulls out a table, sets it up and then goes under and pulls out a set of chairs and a tea set. He sits down at ringside and invites Sarah O’Doyle and Fred Dagger to have tea with him. He starts pouring imaginary tea into tiny cups and he takes a sip and marvels at the taste, clapping his hands in delight. *

Irvin Fury – This is worst than a Jake Titan family reunion. The buffoonery, the absence of intelligence. What is wrong with this guy?

* Instead of counting out Squee Wee, Sarah O’Doyle exits the ring and sits down with him and the crowd begins to laugh. SW is humming and pouring tea for his guest. He looks up at Fred Dagger and invites him to sit down with them. Dagger exits the ring and sits down at the table. *

Jessica Swift – That’s it. He’s having a change of heart. He’s having tea with Sarah and Squee Wee. That’s so nice of him to play along.

Irvin Fury – If I wanted this crap, I would have stayed in the former liquid federation. This is making me sick to my goddamn stomach.

* Squee Wee insists that they pray before having tea and coffee cakes. He asks them to bow their heads and when SW is in the middle of praying, Fred Dagger grabs him by his head and slams it into the table. The crowd explodes with laughter and elation. Dagger grabs the tea pot and bongs it off SW’s head and then clotheslines SW onto the table. He grabs him by the ankles and drags him across the table, clearing it off. As SW is trying to get up off the table, Dagger grabs a chair and crashes it off his skull. Dagger then grabs him by his head and launches him off the table. Dagger grabs another chair and blasts it off his head again. SW is no longer smiling and Sarah O’Doyle has a disturbed look on her face. SW is crawling around and Dagger pulls him up by his head, places it between his left, hoists him up and powerbombs Squee Wee through his tea party table. Children and the soft hearted, alike, all cry. *

Irvin Fury – That’s more like it. This is wrestling, not a goddamn day care. Punish that soft pants bastard, will ya, Dagger.

Jessica Swift - *sniffling* He doesn’t deserve this beating.

Irvin Fury – Awwww, need a shoulder to cry on, Jessie?

Jessica Swift – I do, but yours aren’t big enough.

* Sarah O’Doyle begins to count out Fred Dagger and he rolls Squee Wee back into the ring. Dagger lifts SW by the back of his underwear and pulls them up and over his head, giving him an Atomic Wedgie. Dagger holds the back of SW’s head and slams it repeatedly into the turnbuckle. SW stumbles around and Dagger hits the ropes and crushes him with a Clothesline From Hell, causing SW to do a complete 360 and land on his head. SW is laid eagle on the mat, with his underwear over his head. Dagger hops up and roars to the crowd. He gets down in a hunters position and waits for Squee Wee to get up. He slowly pulls his underwear from over his head and shakes off the effects of his beating. He tries to put the smile back on his face but it’s hard to do so when he’s hurting. When he shakes it off a little bit more and stumbles to the side, Dagger charges out and spears him again, this time, running completely through him. Squee Wee’s feet are pointing straight up in the air with a smile on his face. Dagger picks him up, lifts him up into suplex position, then flattens him with the Darrow Spike. He hooks the leg for the pin: 1……………..2……………3!!!!! *

Ally Winters - *sniffling* THE WINNER OF THE MATCH……….Fred Dagger………..the party pooper.[/color]

Irvin Fury – Haha. Look at all you pussy’s crying over this pansy. Get over it. He’s not a wrestler.

Jessica Swift – But he’s fun. He didn’t need to be beaten like that. I hope he comes back. I hope his heart isn’t broken.

Irvin Fury – I do. I don’t want to see this guy in a UWA ring ever again.

* Fred Dagger is roaring in the ring then he looks down at Squee Wee who mysteriously has that silly smile on his face. His tongue is sticking out and he’s giggling. Dagger picks him up and launches him out of the ring again and exits out after him. Dagger goes under the ring, pulls out another table and leans it against the corner of the barricade. He pulls SW up and leans him against the barricade, takes a few steps back………. *

Irvin Fury – Now, this is going to be fun.

* ……..and roars before charging in and spearing Squee Wee through the table and the section of the barricade, knocking over fans and security alike. Dagger gets up over his prey and roars. *

Jessica Swift – That’s just sad. He didn’t have to do that to him.

Irvin Fury – He’s trying to wipe that silly smile off his face. Do you see him smiling now? Nope, didn’t think so. Good riddance.

Jessica Swift – We’ll be back fans to action fans after we go to the back and check on Ms. Alexia Valentine and Major Management.

[The Council]

* Inside the office of Alexia Valentine, she is chatting with both Virus and Derek Wellings over what they did to UWA Heavyweight Champion, Red Solomon.

They are laughing it up and giving high fives, as Michelle Wellings and Demonica are in the background discussing baby stuff. Alexia interrupts……… *

Alexia Valentine – OK guys. You two did a good job on the champion. Your work isn’t completed, Derek. You still have to go out and seal the deal. You still have to go out in the main event and finish the job and claim the UWA Heavyweight Championship for Major Management.

Virus – Sorry to interrupt and I know what I said earlier about me looking out for me, but since you have all the power, why don’t you just take the title for yourself? Who can deny you? You’re the boss, right?

* Alexia walks up to Virus and circles behind him in a seductive way. Michelle and Demonica stop talking and look on in curiosity. Alexia starts massaging the shoulders of Virus and he looks back at her as if he’s interested in what she’s up to. *

Alexia Valentine – You know Leon, I like your demeanor. You’re self driven, independent, you know what you want. But this is my party, and what I want, I will get.

* Alexia guides Virus to a chair and whispers in his ear. *

Alexia Valentine – Don’t stand in my way, Leon; join the party.

Demonica – Hey lady, what do you think------

* Michelle Wellings stops a very pregnant Demonica from doing something stupid by grabbing her arm. *

Michelle Wellings – No honey, it’s alright.

Alexia Valentine – Oh yes, it’ll be alright for all involved if what I want gets done my way. I can take the title if I wish, but I don’t want it to be that easy for Red Solomon. I want him to suffer and feel the pain that champion should feel if he’s to represent my company.

* Alexia deep massages the shoulders of Virus, causing his eyes to roll into his head. Demonica doesn’t like it one bit and she breaks free from Michelle and slaps the arms of Alexia away.

Demonica – TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN, LADY!!!!

* Alexia walks away with a devilish grin on her face and as she’s walking around the office, she continues to speak. *

Alexia Valentine – I see your semen has lit a fire in the belly of this young woman, Leon. I would assume the way she’s carrying, you’ll be expecting a young Virus pretty soon.

Virus – Listen here, Alexia. What’s between me and my woman is none of your business.

Alexia Valentine – I bet there was a lot between you and her.

Demonica – I’LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT OLD LADY!!!!!

Alexia Valentine – Leon, control your woman. This is what I want from you. Tonight, you are to help Derek Wellings take the UWA title from Red Solomon. If you two show you are having a hard time in accomplishing this feat, I will make sure you feel the wrath of Lady Misery in all of her splendor. If you lose this match, Derek, you won’t have to worry about being booked ever again on a UWA event, because you will be fired. Don’t be surprised if I have to come out and make the match go my way. I like things to go my way………..

Demonica – Lousy bitch.

Alexia Valentine – I will allow that comment based on raging hormones. Now, leave my office, all of you.

* Everyone starts to leave the office and Alexia Valentine grabs Virus on last time before he exits out the door. *

Alexia Valentine – Remember, Leon, what I say goes……….and that’s for everything. If you wish to benefit while in UWA, you will do as I say.

* Virus snatches his arm back with disgust on his face. *

Virus – I’ll think about it.

* Demonica grabs Virus and pulls him out of the office, while Alexia laughs like the devil. *

Alexia Valentine – Lady Misery always has her way…………

* The sound of laughter is heard throughout the Quicken Loans Arena. *

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAHHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!

Irvin Fury – That bitch is evil and she scares me.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

[The Council]

* When Warzone returns, the cameras are quickly running towards the locker rooms of Nick Travis and Grant White. The sound of loud banging and things falling can be heard. Once the camera turns the corner and focuses, Jake Titan has a stapler in his hand and has the head of Nick Travis cocked back and has the stapler against his forehead. *

Jake Titan – YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!! YOU LIKE ABUSING WOMEN?!!!! I’LL ABUSE YOU!!!!!

* Jake shoots a staple into the forehead of Nick Travis, causing him to gush and fall on the floor, floundering in pain. Jake stomps on him and then he tosses a trash can across the room and connects with an extremely bloody individual, slumped in a corner, next to a locker. Jake goes over and slams the locker door into the man’s face and kicks him in the face. Jake leans over and staples him to the face as well. *

Irvin Fury – Who the hell did he just staple? I don’t even recognize him.

Jessica Swift – I don’t know, but Jake Titan is on a rampage.

* Jake turns suddenly towards the camera crew, which get startled and fall over various items thrown about the locker room. *

Jake Titan – I’LL FUCK ALL OF YOU BOYS UP!!!!! WHO WANT WHAT!!!!

Irvin Fury – What the hell did that illiterate chimp just say?

Jessica Swift – Shut up, Fury.

Jake Titan – I’M MAD GODDAMMIT!!!! I JUST GOT AN EVICTION NOTICE!!!! NOW SOMEONE’S GOT TO PAY AND IT WON’T BE ME!!!!! I’M GOING SLAUGHTER ALL YOU WHITE BOYS!!!!!

Irvin Fury – I’d like to see him try. Goddamn moon cricket always having issues. And he wants someone else to pay for his own home because he’s too broke to do it himself. He lives in that house, so he should pay for it, instead of leeching off the government for assistance. Fucking nig-------

Jessica Swift – Shut up, Fury.

* Jake kicks the bloodied guy again and Nick Travis tries to leave the room, but Jake staples him to the back and crashes a broken bench across his back. Jake slams a Gatorade bucket over Nick’s head and staples him again. As Jake continues to mumble and rage, Jorgen Lightfoot wanders by the carnage and stops. *

Jorgen Lightfoot – Ho there. You have done away with my opponent. For this, I am most grateful.

* Jake looks at him with disgust. *

Jake Titan – Who you callin’ a hoe?

* Jake charges after the new comer and tackles him into a wall. Before Lightfoot can recuperate, Jake staples him to the face. Lightfoot falls to the ground, kicking and screaming. Jake looks around and sees a glass window pane that belongs to Nick Travis and Grant White. He finds a table and lays the glass on the table. He then takes Lightfoot and the fallen Nick Travis and lay them on the table. He then looks around and sees a soda machine. He pushes it next to table and climbs on top with a chair in hand. He yells out…………… *

Jake Titan – FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

* Jake dives off and crashes the chair into his fallen victims as glass and broken table fly everywhere. Jake struggles to get up and stumbles away. *

Jake Titan – That’s for Barack Obama, muthafuckas. That’s my aggin.

* The scene ends with both Jorgen Lightfoot and Nick Travis laying in broken glass and wood and Jake Titan threatening more people with his staple gun. *

Irvin Fury – Well that fucker just ruined the next match.

Jessica Swift – I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Nick Travis anyway. I don’t like his ways and I’m thankful that Jake Titan just disposed of him.

Irvin Fury – That overly violent nincompoop didn’t do any of us favors. We couldn’t see what Jorgen Lightfoot was about.

Jessica Swift – Maybe next time, maybe next time. Let’s go back to ringside as the action is about to pick back up.

[The Council]

“The Trooper” by Iron Maiden hits as Redemption runs out from the crowd onto the ramp, he folds his arms and poses for a moment before rushing into the ring, he then climbs the turnbuckle and makes sure the crowd is chanting, before jumping down and eating a banana.

Irvin Fury: For a guy who wears a mask and making an entrance such as this one, why is he eating a banana?

Jessica Swift: It’s rich in protein and he needs his energy.

Irvin Fury: I have something else that’s rich in protein and it’s man made, all natural.

Jessica Swift: Shut up, Fury.

Redemption then grabs a microphone as the crowd chant breaks out………

Crowd: BIG BOOM!!!! BIG BOOM!!!! BIG BOOM!!!! BIG BOOM!!!! BIG BOOM!!!!

Redemption: Ok, I was about to say the whole “some of you know me some of you may not” thing, but since you’re chanting, then I might as well skip that part.

He pauses and looks around the arena.

Redemption: I've been out of action for a while, took one too many chair shots to the head, I guess. My knee still hurts, but not as much as it used to, and there's no damage that you can do to my brain that hasn't already been done.

The crowd laughs.

Redemption: Now, I'm not a man of many words, okay, maybe I am, but I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. Right, I'm new to UWA, heck I'm new to PWC, but I'm not new to wrestling, and that's what's gonna get me over here in UWA. Now from what I hear the owner here is pretty evil. And there's guys who get suspended for strange things...but frankly I don't care. Now, as you know, or don't know, over the years I've gone into a ring, and not thought about anything other than the fight at hand, unlike what a lot of people do today.

The crowd stays silent.

Redemption: I'm out to purify this federation that is full of trash-talking, all talk and no do, little weenie superstars with no muscles who pose for the crowd and JUST WALK AROUND LIKE THEIR GODS GIFT TO SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!

Redemption drops the microphone, starts holding his head as if he’s going crazy, begins jibbering and jabbering, turns and makes his way backstage as the crowd shake their heads in disbelief. Redemption is in UWA and things will never be the same again.

Irvin Fury: Uhhhh, I have a question.

Jessica Swift: I think I know what it is, but shoot.

Irvin Fury: What the hell was that?

Jessica Swift: I have no idea, and I don’t think he does either.

Irvin Fury: Just what UWA needs, another loon running loose. It’s bad enough we have a meditated mute like Red Solomon as the champion. The silent ones always scare me.

Jessica Swift: Just as they say, quiet people kill, loud……

She looks over at Irvin.

Jessica Swift: …..people talk cow dun; and I’m putting it nicely.

Irvin Fury: Learn to appreciate people who speak from the heart.

Jessica Swift: I would, only if the person made sense when they do speak. Coming up next fans, it’s the Handicap Leather Strap match between Jason Verve with Sherry Martinez against Dan McCloud.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

[The Council]

* Warzone returns with the crowd standing on their feet as they ready themselves for the handicap strap match between Jason Verve with Sherry Martinez against Dan McCloud. *

Irvin Fury – This is going to be one bizarre match.

Jessica Swift – It’ll also be the first in UWA history; a strap match.

Irvin Fury – It’s been a while since I’ve called a strap match. It must have been suggested by Dan McCloud because strap matches are old style matches and he’ll fit at home.

Jessica Swift – It’s a possibility that it could be his idea and someone from The Council listened to his suggestion.

* Alice Winters enters the ring and beings to announce the participants for the next match. *

Ally Winters – Ladies and gentlemen, your next match is a 2 on 1 Handicap Strap Match, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the tandem of SHERRY MARTINEZ and JASON VERVE!!!!!

* “Six by All That Remains” plays and Sherry comes out in a cloak that covers her completely from her head to her knees, but when Jason walks out he is in full ring gear. Jason holds a whip down and readily smacks anyone who gets too close or reaches too far out. The crowd boos and he ignores them. He jumps up on the ropes and holds them down to allow Sherry access into the ring. Once in the ring Sherry falls onto her knees before Jason and he removes her cloak and tosses it out towards the time keeper. They start to kiss wildly then they drop into a corner and wait for their opponent. *

Jessica Swift – They look focused and that’s scary.

Irvin Fury – I just hope that old man doesn’t fondle Sherry tonight.

Jessica Swift – Why should you worry about it? You won’t get to feel her up.

Irvin Fury – I just hate to follow up. I usually lead the train.

Jessica Swift – You’re disgusting.

Ally Winters – And their opponent, hailing for Dublin, England and weighing in at 210 pounds, he is the self proclaimed “The Greatest Living Legend Alive”…………….DANIEL McCLOUD!!!!! The referee will be Shane Thomas.

* "Johnny B. Goode" hits the loud speakers and the fans go crazy bowing to a living legend. Daniel McCloud makes his way out wearing a ring robe that costs as much as some peoples homes. He is seen smoking a pipe for several seconds while standing on the ramp, then he empties the pipe and puts it into his robe, and makes his way down to the ring, strutting as if he owns the place. Several fans reach out and grab his shoulders as he smiles and nods at them, and spins around with his robe flowing in the wind. *

Jessica Swift – Wow, look at the spectacle that is Dan McCloud.

Irvin Fury – How old is he?

Jessica Swift – He keeps that to himself. But there is a rumor going around that he and John McCain went to school together and he got the better of the failed Republican Presidential hopeful in a school yard battle of thumb wrestling.

Irvin Fury – Speaking of John McCain, I see that he’s in the building tonight, enjoying the show from the Presidential Suite. I don’t know why, he’s not the President.

Jessica Swift – There he is fans, John McCain.

Irvin Fury – Why is his wife’s face so tight?

Jessica Swift – I think they call it botox.

* Shane Thomas ties the strap to Dan McCloud’s wrist and joins it to the pair of Jason Verve and Sherry Martinez. In the mist of the referee tying the straps to them, McCloud attacks the duo before the bell and it rings to start the match. He kicks Jason Verve in the chest and takes up some slack and start whipping Verve with the leather strap. The crowd is getting pumped up from the start of this match. Sherry jumps on D-Mc’s back and tries to choke him with the leather strap. He reaches back and flips her off his back and she falls into the lap of Verve. D-Mc drags Verve out of the corner and clotheslines him with the leather strap. He then wraps the strap around Verve’s throat and starts choking him. Sherry comes in behind D-Mc and hits a low blow. D-Mc wobbles away and Verve gets up and hits a neckbreaker. Verve takes up some slack on the leather strap and start whipping the old man. Sherry is putting the boots to him and is gauging at his eyes. *

Jessica Swift – This is looking like buzzard fighting over a carcass.

Irvin Fury – HAHAHA!!!! You said Dan McCloud looks like a carcass. His old, dusty ass is old enough to be a carcass.

Jessica Swift – I didn’t mean it that way.

Irvin Fury – Yes you did.

Jessica Swift – No I didn’t.

Irvin Fury – Yes you did.

Jessica Swift – No I didn’t.

Irvin Fury – Yes you did.

Jessica Swift – There’s no winning with you, is there?

Irvin Fury – Nope.

* Verve pulls D-Mc to his feet and headbutts him into a corner. Sherry is punching the old man in his flabby stomach, and laughing at it jiggle. Verve wraps some strap around the neck of D-Mc, whips him out of the corner and yanks back on the strap, causing a whiplash effect on the old man’s neck. Sherry goes to the top rope and connects with a splash and she goes for the pin: 1……………2…………..D-Mc kicks out. Sherry is hitting elbows to the face of D-Mc and starts to bite his face, drawing bleeding scratches. D-Mc pushes her off and Verve is waiting with some strap and whips D-Mc across the back and follows with a hard elbow to the side of the head. D-Mc falls into a corner and Verve chokes him with his boot. Verve wraps the strap around the neck of D-Mc and sits on the top rope, pulling back, choking the old man. As D-Mc’s feet leave the ground, Sherry tries to attack him, but he locks his legs around neck of Sherry and twists his body, causing Verve to fall off the top rope and Sherry flips onto her back. The crowd starts getting behind the Living Legend and he starts to work over Sherry by pulling her up and hits a scoop body slam. He picks her up again and places her on his shoulders and hits a rolling cutter, then goes for the pin: 1……………2…………..Jason Verve yanks on the strap, causing D-Mc to break the pinfall. Verve continues to yank on the strap until D-Mc is next to the ropes and he pokes him in the eye. Verve gets on the apron and hits a diving clothesline over the top rope. Verve sends D-Mc to the ropes and hits a spinebuster and goes for the pin: 1………..2……….D-Mc gets a shoulder up. Verve grabs the arm that he’s raised and turns him over onto his stomach and goes for Nature’s Wrath, but the Living Legend rolls around yanks the strap, causing Verve to fall flat on his face and Sherry gets up and starts beating on D-Mc, but he shoves her to the side and headbutts her to the mat. *

Irvin Fury – I thought he was a ladies man.

Jessica Swift – That’s no lady in the ring.

Irvin Fury – Sure looks like one, and from the bulge in my pants, something else is telling me she’s one.

* D-Mc sits down over Sherry, cocks back as to punch her, looks at her, then squeezes her breasts. She looks offended as the crowd laughs and Verve hits a running kick to the side of the head. D-Mc falls over and down as Verve goes over to pick him up and hoists him up for the Vampiric Embrace, but D-Mc breaks free, hits the ropes, and connects with the Dammit Down Trooper. Sherry gets to her feet after adjusting her top and slaps D-Mc. She then grabs her by her head and plants a long, hot kiss to her. She slaps him again and he grabs her, bends her over his knee, flips her skirt up, moves her thong to the side, and starts spanking her with the leather strap. The men in the crowd go nuts. *

Irvin Fury – YEAH DADDY!!!! THAT’S WHAT I LIKE………ROAST BEEF!!!

Jessica Swift – You’re so disgusting.

Irvin Fury – Macaroni.

[The Council]

* When D-Mc is done spanking Sherry, he picks her up and notices Verve charging and pushes her into Verve, knocking her down and stunning Verve. D-Mc then gets behind Verve and locks on the Octopus Stretch. Verve immediately taps out and the crowd explodes with happiness. The bell rings as Shane Thomas calls for it. *

Jessica Swift – HE DID IT!!!! DANIEL McCLOUD PULLED OUT THE VICTORY!!!

Irvin Fury – I don’t mind him winning because he treated us all to a nice peep show at the expense of Sherry Martinez.

Ally Winters – THE WINNER OF THE MATCH……………. DANIEL McCLOUD!!!!

* Jason Verve falls out and rolls out of the ring. D-Mc grabs the legs of Sherry, looks out at the crowd, starts throwing dry humps in her direction as she covers her private area, but D-Mc wraps her legs up in the 4 of a Kind (figure 4 leg lock). The crowd is cheering like mad as Sherry is screaming in pain and D-Mc is enjoying it. He’s even placing a cupped hand up to his ear like Hulk Hogan, listening to Sherry scream. As he has the 4 of a Kind still locked in, Jason Verve returns to the ring with a chair and smashes it into the face of D-Mc, knocking him out cold. *

Jessica Swift – OH MY GOD!!! THAT WAS JUST HORRIBLE!!!! HE KNOCKED HIM OUT WITH THE CHAIR SHOT!!!! HE COULD HAVE KILLED HIM WITH A HEAVY UNPROTECTED SHOT LIKE THAT!!!!!

Irvin Fury – I must admit, that was sick to see. It was like he got shot, his body just stopped moving.

* The crowd boos as Sherry escapes the limp body of D-Mc and crawls over to her man. He slams the chair down next to the immobile body of D-Mc and stares down at him. EMTs rush the ring, as well as members of the PSA and they rush Jason Verve and Sherry Martinez out of the ring. Sherry removes the strap from her wrist as everyone is checking on, what is now a very bloodied Dan McCloud. *

Jessica Swift – This is just sick to see.

* The EMTs are trying to help up a bloody and weak Dan McCloud who probably doesn’t know where he is. He sits up and has a glare in his eyes, evident that he’s out on his feet. Jason Verve and Sherry walk up the ramp, stop on the stage, look back at the carnage and then start kissing madly. *

Jessica Swift – Jason Verve has done it once again. He may not win a lot of matches, but it’s the battles after those matches that he’s doing the damage.

Irvin Fury – I’d like to do damage to Sherry Martinez……..SMOKIN’!!!

Jessica Swift – We’ll be back after this break fans.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

[The Council]

* Warzone returns from break and everyone is standing, ready for the main event of the evening. *

Jessica Swift – Fans, this is the main event, and it’s going to be a wild one.

Irvin Fury – Earlier in the evening, Alexia Valentine set up Red Solomon and had him attacked by Leon “The Virus” Roberts and his challenger, Derek Wellings. They attempted to injure the back of the UWA Champion and left him laying.

Jessica Swift – That’s right, and later in the evening, Alexia vowed that Red will lose the title no matter what tonight and that The Virus, Leon Roberts, will accompany Derek Wellings to the ring and make sure that her request happens.

Irvin Fury – She’s pure evil, I tell ya.

Jessica Swift – It’s time for the main event. Take it away Ally.

Ally Winters – The following contest is a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH scheduled for one fall and it’s your main event. Coming to the ring first, being accompanied to the ring by his wife, Michelle Wellings and Leon “The Virus” Roberts, hailing from Lowell, Massachusetts, weighing in at 280 pounds, representing Alexia Valentine’s Major Management…………………DEREK WELLINGS!!!!!

* Smoke fills the stage area as Michelle comes out first yelling at everyone to stand in Parade Rest, Derek walks out, his fists clenched ready to punch someone out, followed by Leon “The Virus” Roberts. Michelle walks down the ring along side Derek until they get to the ropes, when both slide in ala Edge. The Virus walks around the ring and just posts up at ringside, not paying attention to the fans who curse him. Derek walks to the other side with his face facing the entrance and does several push-ups until his opponent appears. *

Irvin Fury – I wonder if Virus is going to do was Alexia wants him to do.

Jessica Swift – I’m surprised Demonica allowed him to even come out here the way Alexia was “all over” Virus and the way she was bossing him around.

Irvin Fury – I think Virus has a motive and he’s already let it be known. He’s going to ride this pony until the back breaks. That’s something The Grand Mystique couldn’t and wouldn’t do, and now he’s on the outside looking in.

Ally Winters – And his opponent, he is the current Ultimate Wrestling Association Heavyweight Champion………hailing from Bangkok Thailand and weighing in at 220 pounds, he is “The Master of Muay Thai”, the UWA’s Asian Sensation…….REDDDDDD SOLOMON!!!!! The referee will be Jim “Old School” Mills.

* The arena darkens, red strobe lights flash, mist rises from the ramp and ominous Gregorian chanting fills the air as Red Solomon steps out from behind the curtain with the UWA belt in one hand as he outstretches his arms and pyro go off around him. His body is wrapped up from the earlier attack as he puts his hands together and bows to the fans, with pain on his face, as they shower him with equal part adulation and derision. Red gingerly walks to the ring, leaps over the top rope and offers another bow to the crowd and referee. He’s holding his back in pain as he’s handing the belt to the timekeeper, which leaves an opening for Derek Wellings to immediately attack him. *

Irvin Fury – It’s on…….

Jessica Swift – Tell me about it. Derek Wellings doesn’t want to face the wrath of Lady Misery, so he’s going to take each and every opportunity to make Red Solomon suffer and walk away as the new UWA Heavyweight Champion.

* Wellings knocks Red into a corner and hits him with shoulder thrusts, scoops him up and hits a running powerslam. He hooks the leg for a pin: 1……………2………..Red kicks out. Wellings pulls him up and sends him to the ropes and hits a shoulder tackle, knocking down the champion. Wellings hits the ropes again and Red tries to leap frog him but Wellings catches him in mid air and hits a powerslam. Wellings drags Red to a corner by his arm and hits a springboard elbow drop from the middle rope. Red tries to get up but Wellings boots him to the face and yells at him. *

Jessica Swift – I feel sorry for Red Solomon. He’s going to be outnumbered and he’s already feeling the effects of that assault. It’s not looking good for him.

Irvin Fury – Yeah, too bad. *snickers*

* Wellings yells at his wife to bring him something “special”, so she goes under the ring and pulls out razor wire baseball bat. She rolls it into the ring and Wellings bends over to pick it up but Red springs to his feet and connects with a double knee to the back of Wellings, causing him to smash his face into the razor wire bat. The crowd groans as Wellings is floundering around the mat, holding his face. Red picks up the bat and connects with it to Derek’s back, ripping shreds of flesh. Derek rolls out of the ring and is bleeding all over the place. Red is wincing in pain, holding his back and the bat as the crowd cheers for him. *

Jessica Swift – YEAH!!!! He’s fighting fire with fire.

Irvin Fury – I think that plan just went bad.

Jessica Swift – It’s a No Disqualification match; how is this one going to end?

Irvin Fury – I don’t know, but this is going to get real ugly, unless someone steps in and stops it.

* Virus enters the ring but Red senses he’s behind him and hits a spinning roundhouse kick to the head of Virus, sending him out of the ring. A bloody Wellings tries to re-enter the ring, but Red whacks him again with the razor wire bat. Before he can fall, the champion, rolls the razor wire across the face of the challenger, gushing blood onto the canvas. As he’s doing so, Virus re-enters the ring with a chair and slides it into the ring. When he goes to pick it up, Red steps on it and blasts him across the back with the razor wire bat as well, tearing away his shirt. Virus quickly returns with a kick to the mid section and follows with a running big boot to the face. The crowd is booing this match as it’s not fair to the champion. *

Crowd – BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Jessica Swift – The odds were stacked before this match even began and there’s nothing Jim Mills can do about it.

Irvin Fury – All he can do is count the fall.

* A wobbly Derek Wellings re-enters the ring and hammers Red across the back with a forearm and tells Virus to pick him up. Virus holds the arms of Red back as Wellings pulls a set of brass knuckles out from his tights and blasts the champion to the head with them, opening up a cut. Wellings continues to pummel the champion until he can no longer stand. Virus picks up Red and executes one of his finishers The Living Day Lights (tossing chokeslam). Red is down in the corner, bleeding and trying to fight his way to his feet. Virus boots him across the face and chokes him in the corner with his boot. Michelle is sliding in a table as Derek sets it up in the center of the ring. Virus picks up Red and hits a piledriver. *

Jessica Swift – Just pin him already. He’s done. Alexia’s won. Stop this assault. Someone has to help him.

Irvin Fury – No one has the nuts to get into that ring and stop this mugging.

Jessica Swift – If you or anyone else won’t help him…………

[The Council]

* Jessica starts to take off her headset and get into the ring…………again. But Irvin pulls her down…………again. *

Irvin Fury – Don’t, Jessie.

Jessica Swift – Errrrrrr. I feel for Red, I feel powerless.

* Wellings has the bloody head of Red between his legs and finishes him off with Advanced Individual Training right through the table. Virus is laying as he rips the rest of his shirt off his body and tosses it down into the wreckage, containing the body of the UWA Champion. The crowd boos as Derek Wellings goes down to pin Red Solomon to become the new champion: 1……………..2………………the count is broken up when The Grand Mystique drags Jim Mills from the ring and slides in himself. The crowd is going nuts. *

Jessica Swift – OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! THE GRAND MYSTIQUE IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!

Irvin Fury – Is it to save Red Solomon or is it to get back at Virus?

* GM goes after Virus with lefts and rights. He sends him to a corner and connects with the Rib Cracker. Virus is floundering around on the mat as Wellings stands up and swings with a clothesline, only to miss, and GM takes him out with the Big Bang. Michelle enters the ring and GM charges her and spears her right flat. GM looks down at the half dead champion and pulls him out and wraps his arm around him to carry him from the ring, suddenly……. *

* Alexia Valentine comes out onto the stage. *

Alexia Valentine – EXCUSE ME…….? Why are you in my ring while my men are doing a job I asked them to do? That’s it, I’ve had it……..Red Solomon, I have every right to strip you of the UWA Heavyweight title. A title that many believe you are no longer worthy of. I could have had you killed out there tonight, just for amusement and to have the title within Major Management. But I see that The Masked Avenger had to spoil my plans. Mystique, since you want to make new friends and the tenth edition of Warzone is coming up; I’m going to do you a favor, since you want to cry and moan about not getting a rematch. I’m going to give you that rematch at Warzone X. But it won’t be just an ordinary match, nope, it’s going to be a tag team match.

Jessica Swift – A tag team match? How is The Grand Mystique getting a title shot at the UWA Heavyweight Championship in a tag team match?

Irvin Fury – Beats the hell outta me.

Alexia Valentine – So let me tell you how it’s going to be played out at Warzone X. The first man to get the pinfall or submission will be the UWA Champion, and to make things fair for you, Mystique, your tag team partner will be none other than…………………..LEON “THE VIRUS” ROBERTS, your sworn enemy and the man who defeated you earlier tonight.

Irvin Fury – WHAT!!!?

Jessica Swift – I don’t know how they are going to co-exist if the title is on the line because, now, Virus is in the mix for the UWA Championship and he can actually stop his own partner from winning the belt. This is nuts.

Irvin Fury – But who’s Red Solomon’s partner going to be? The Masked Grappler, Dan McCloud, Cake Boy Mary, Jesus Christ? If so, we’ll definitely will have a new champion.

Alexia Valentine – And Red Solomon’s partner will be the man who doesn’t like anyone, he’s been in semi-retirement for a few months now, except for a few skirmishes here and there. He’s the Head of UWA Security…………………..TOMMY POLO!!!!!

Jessica Swift – Now that just doesn’t make any sense.

Irvin Fury – NOW THAT’S BIG NEWS!!!!!

Jessica Swift – Polo works for Alexia Valentine. How is he going to side with Red Solomon? I smell a rat.

Irvin Fury – Did you change your panties today? This is wonderful news. Now we get treated to a Tommy Polo match and after what we saw at the top of the show, he doesn’t like Virus, so it makes perfect sense. This is just for Polo to get back at Virus for what I understand, was a terrible business relationship in the now defunct Enigmar Wrestling.

Jessica Swift – I don’t get it. Red is all alone, I just have that feeling.

* “Ain’t No Make Believe” by Stonefree Experience plays and Tommy Polo with Tracie Bottoms makes his way out and flexes for the cameras. *

* The crowd is at a fever pitch as Alexia ends her “speech”. *

Alexia Valentine – There you have it; Warzone X, for the UWA Championship; Virus and The Grand Mystique versus Tommy Polo and Red Solomon. The winner will be the UWA Champion. I’m Alexia Valentine, and I approve this message.

* She leaves as Major Management make their way up the ramp and they have a standoff with Polo, and Red Solomon is in the ring with one of the men that will compete for his title, The Grand Mystique. Everyone is staring at each other as Warzone IX ends and fades out. *

Jessica Swift – THIS IS CRAZY!!!!

Irvin Fury – THIS IS ULTIMATE WRESTLING ASSOCIATION!!!!

Jessica Swift – GOOD GOD!!!!

Irvin Fury – DDP?


END SHOW